WORDforThought

27th May 2012

Thought of the day: do you get what you deserve, or do you get what you demand?

I’ve never been one to demand what I need - I’m more of a “ask politely and hope” type of girl. Over the years, I’ve trained my tongue to cushion requests with a please & a thank you - to use kindness and a smile to sweeten the conversations that would otherwise be hard to digest. This is fine, because being polite works most of the time. But when it doesn’t? Well, I don’t have a Sasha Fierce alter ego to fight my case with an attitude & and sparkly leotard. Rather, my response to rejection is usually an “oh well”, and an attempt to convince myself it’s for the best (“Don’t worry, you don’t really need that. You can definitely be happy without it”)

So, do we always get what we deserve? Yes - if you DEMAND what you deserve.

In a situation where you know you want more and truly feel you deserve better, should you let it go (sit and wait), or disrupt the peace (fight your case)?

Option A: Let it go. Sit and wait.

…aka take the power out of your hands. Although it’s a safer route that avoids the sticks, stones, and words that can hurt you , it forces you to devalue your desires. It’s the decision to keep quiet and swallow your needs, until you wake up one day with an unbearable stomachache. And a headache. And heartache soon after.

Option B: Disrupt the peace. Fight your case.

…aka acknowledge your dissatisfaction, and shake up that snow globe of euphoric perfection. If you choose to defend your desires, you’ll have to wipe off the icing (it won’t be pretty!) in order to prove that your needs are legitimate. Yes, it may invite conflict - but some things are too important to sacrifice without a fight.

I’m beginning to understand that it’s okay to demand more. Due to past experiences, my mind has been wired to think that that expressing a concern is “being too much”, and that acknowledging my needs is ”being needy”. But it’s not - and I’m trying to ease my thoughts into this shift in mindset.

I understand that I’m not going to everything I want, and 95% of the time I’m more than willing to compromise. However, some things don’t deserve to be sacrificed - and its okay to demand them, Sasha Fierce style.

25th May 2012 | 8 notes

jennadaily:

“I Want To Know If My Hair Is Just Like Yours.”: The New York Times provides a long overdue backstory of this endearing photo which is so loved by White House aides and visitors that it remains hung in the curated West Wing after three years.

The boy in the picture is Jacob Philadelphia of Columbia, Md. Three years ago this month, his father, Carlton, a former Marine, was leaving the White House staff after a two-year stint on the National Security Council that began in the Bush administration. As departing staff members often do, Mr. Philadelphia asked for a family photograph with Mr. Obama

After their photo, Mr. Philadelphia’s two sons were each allowed to ask a question. Jacob spoke first.

“I want to know if my hair is just like yours,” he told Mr. Obama, so quietly that the president asked him to speak again.

Jacob did, and Mr. Obama replied, “Why don’t you touch it and see for yourself?” He lowered his head, level with Jacob, who hesitated.

“Touch it, dude!” Mr. Obama said.

As Jacob patted the presidential crown, Mr. Souza snapped.

“So, what do you think?” Mr. Obama asked.

“Yes, it does feel the same,” Jacob said.

Obama’s longtime adviser, David Axelrod, has a framed copy in his Chicago office. He said of Jacob, “Really, what he was saying is, ‘Gee, you’re just like me.’ And it doesn’t take a big leap to think that child could be thinking, ‘Maybe I could be here someday.’ This can be such a cynical business, and then there are moments like that that just remind you that it’s worth it.”